{Thinking through life at the barre, and beyond.. a note from Esther!}

There are some subjects that are not kosher to talk about.  A couple of years ago I mentioned to both my boys I was considering making my will.  I had been thinking about it for some time and also felt uncomfortable about bringing the subject up.  Talking about death is touchy and taboo.  Not an easy subject for families and with most people.  I felt and saw their discomfort, a slight twitch in their expression, a squirm in their body language as they tried to hide their feelings.  I brought the subject up more frequently at the next few visits explaining that we need to talk about death.  It is a fact that everybody on this planet for now is sure to die.  I don’t have a problem with death, but I do have a problem that I’m not in control of how, where and when.  I think about it a lot as I near my eighty sixth birthday.  I regularly listen to Radio 4’s Obituary Programme: it’s very interesting to hear that people seem quite frequently to die between the ages of seventy five and eighty five.  So I take a deep breath realizing it could be any time for me.  I feel really well so it’s hard to believe it could be this evening or next year, both far too soon.  I want time to prepare for the occasion, like when I go on holiday I like to be sure the house is clean and tidy.  I would hate to leave a mess and that’s how I feel about my life.  I like talking about death and wish people weren’t so squeamish.  Talking about it in some mindful way is my way of accepting the inevitable and becoming friends with Mr Death.  It really is so good to talk. -Esther

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